In our 11th installment of Super Bowl prognostications, the Super Bowl Inquisitor supplies the inquisition while I (hopefully) supply some original repartee.
It's the same old deal, except we've eschewed using Roman numerals to number the Super Bowls.
With that, let's get it on.
Super Bowl Inquisitor: As always, let’s start with the tedious questions. Lady Gaga is slated to sing the national anthem. Does that do anything for ya?
Brad: It’ll be interesting to see if she can perform a song without any of those kooky techno beats.
SBI: I can’t speak for you, but I’m excited about Coldplay being the headliner for the halftime entertainment.
SBI: Man. I teed that one up for ya.
OK, now to the on field play. Do you believe this will be Peyton Manning’s final NFL game?
BC: I hope so. I haven’t seen such a significant 2-year drop off in a professional’s latter stages of a career since Clint Eastwood went from Gran Torino to Trouble with the Curve.
SBI: The Broncos’ defense was fantastic against Patriots quarterback Tom Brady in the AFC Championship Game. Can they replicate that success against Panthers QB Cam Newton?
BC: I picture the Broncos’ D attempting to sack Newton as being similar to the efforts of the Lilliputians trying to bring down Gulliver.
SBI: Are you offended by Newton’s “dabbing” whenever he makes a big play?
BC: Nah. But I would be offended if he did the “Whip/Nae Nae.”
SBI: There’s typically a scandalous off field story during Super Bowl week, with this one being no exception. Broncos’ safety Ryan Murphy was sent home after being arrested in a prostitution sting. Your thoughts?
BC: I’d prefer you ask Panthers’ radio guy Eugene Robinson for *his* thoughts.
SBI: What’s on the menu at your Super Bowl get-together?
BC: Hors d’oeuvres, shmor derves. Keep it simple. We’re going with Devil Dogs, a veggie tray and a vast array of diet sodas.
SBI: The Panthers are a 5-1/2 point favorite over the Broncos. How ya callin’ this one?
BC: It’s hard to believe that a Peyton Manning led team merely needs him to be a “game manager” but that’s where we are. I think the Broncos’ defense will hold their own against Cam & Co., but Denver’s offense will be rendered ineffective. I’m going 21-17, Carolina.
In the immortal words of the ‘60s pop music group The Happenings: “See you in September!”
2015 Postseason record:
Straight up: 7-3
Against the spread: 4-6