Tuesday, August 01, 2006

It's the end of the world as we know it.

There have been many signs of the apocalypse lately.

Iran’s continued threats of nuclear holocaust, the perpetual attacks on Israel, looming dangers of a third World War, etc.

However, none of those events can be considered more penultimate than….

….”Flavor of Love 2.”

The first installment of this VH1 reality show featured 20 gold diggers women vying for the wealth and lifestyle heart of Flava Flav, he of the hip hop group Public Enemy. Flav’s typical appearance consists of wearing a large clock necklace and sporting gold teeth.

But the most bizarre aspect of this reality program had to be the sheer nastiness displayed by the women attempting to capture Flav’s love. From daily cat fights to using language that would make a sailor blush to one contestant spitting in the mouth of another, these women stopped at nothing to be the last babe standing.

Kind of makes one long for the days when the network censors delete a joke containing the words “water closet.”

Anyhow, when Flav decided on a beau in the first “Flavor of Love”, he narrowed the field down to two women (ala “The Bachelor”). Flav was to choose between two gals he referred to as ”Hoopz” and “New York”. Flav decided to hang with Hoopz, a budding internet and magazine model. Upon this momentous decision, Flav then proceeded to present Hoopz with a token of his affection.

An engagement ring?


A single rose?


How about matching gold teeth!!

Yes, this woman pledged her undying love and affection to Flav…and he reciprocates with a custom gold dental grill.

Sadly, the courtship between Flav and Hoopz did not last.

Ah, but never fear. Flav is emotionally strong enough to endure another twenty gals battling for his bling-bling affections.

The second installment of this wretched display will take place later this summer.

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