This one is tricky.
As I have written many times here, my wife and I have been in the adoption phase for almost two years now. Unfortunately life had some unexpected turns over these past several months and thus the process was put on hold a couple of times. But it appeared we were cleared for takeoff in December once we were fully settled in to our new house and my wife had finished her Masters degree. Of course, bringing a child into our lives would be bittersweet. While we were certainly excited to expand our family, we were saddened that Jennifer's Dad would never meet his new grandchild. He so wanted a granddaughter and we just had this feeling that we were going to get a girl.
So you can imagine the whirlwind our lives became in mid January when my gal found out she was pregnant! We were absolutely ecstatic but at the same time cautious. Given it was Jen's first pregnancy we knew the potential for complications. As such, we shared the news with immediate family only.
For the first week we tried to wrap our minds around having a baby. It hardly seemed real since we had hoped and prayed for a child for the past several years but had no success. The second week brought genuine joy and excitement. We finally allowed ourselves to start planning.
Sadly, our joy turned to sorrow as we lost our baby over the weekend. I guess I can say we weren't totally unprepared. However, our indelible faith seldom allowed us to believe anything but the best. But since God's ways are higher than ours and He sees the end from the beginning, we're going to continue to move forward in faith knowing we will have our victory.
For the short term, we are heart broken. But we can also rejoice in the fact that baby Carlson is meeting Grandpa after all.