The following is a depiction of a hypothetical meeting of the New York Times Editorial Board:
Editor 1: Wow. Our readers have absolutely lost their s**t over token conservative columnist Bret Stephens' first column with our paper.
Editor 2: But why did he have to go there though? I mean, even the slightest insinuation that he questions **settled science?!?!** Unconscionable!
Editor 1: Look, it's water under the bridge. We just have to move forward and figure out a way to placate our traumatized readers as well as reach out to those who may have hastily canceled their subscriptions.
Editor 2: Yeah, well to right this egregious wrong, we're really going to have to make a statement. Anyone?
Editor 3: I know! How about a May Day column touting the virtues of a political movement which was responsible for the deaths of tens of millions of people worldwide?
Editors 1 & 2: DONE!
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