Friday, February 03, 2012

Super Bowl XLVI: The Q & A

In an effort not to overshadow Groundhog Day (Heh. See what I did there?), I decided to wait an extra day to release the transcript of another highly anticipated yearly event. That would be my annual Q&A with the Super Bowl Inquisitor of course.

As is our M.O., SBI has the questions, I have the answers!

SBI: ESPN and other sports outlets constantly hype MLB’s Yankees-Red Sox rivalry. Now, for the second time in five years, it’s the Giants-Patriots in the Super Bowl. Have you grown weary of the bombardment that is the New York-Boston domination of sports?
BC: Just so we don’t get to the point of glamorizing soccer’s New York Red Bulls and New England Revolution, I’ll be OK.

SBI: NY Giants quarterback Eli Manning is playing this game in the stadium his older brother (and more heralded QB) Peyton calls “home.” Does that story line do anything for ya?
BC: Not really. To be honest, I was much more impressed with the fact Jim Hanks was the running stunt double for his brother Tom in Forrest Gump.

SBI: New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick and quarterback Tom Brady will be in their fifth Super Bowl together, an all-time record for a coach/QB. Can you think of a more accomplished duo in anything?
BC: Within the context of football, I can’t. But overall? The nod has to go to country music duo Brooks & Dunn, unless one can prove to me that Brady could hit the high note on Boot Scootin’ Boogie.

SBI: Four years ago, the Giants denied the Patriots an unprecedented 19-0 season with a 17-14 win in SB XLII. Could this be the most anticipated rematch ever?
BC: Again, within the context of football? Maybe. But for my money, I would rather see Vince Neil and Axl Rose square off again.

SBI: Speaking of washed up quinquagenarian musicians, halftime entertainment is being headlined by Madonna. What say you?
BC: I say this goes about as well as when she was the “headliner” in Shanghai Surprise.

SBI: Now I know you’re a casual fan of Kelly Clarkson. Are you excited about her singing The Star Spangled Banner?
BC: Sure. But I’m even more intrigued to see the reaction of the Indianapolis crowd when they realize the song doesn’t end with the words “Gentlemen, start your engines!”

SBI: What’s on the menu?
BC: In paying homage to the two regions represented in the big game, it has to be Pizza Pie and New England Clam Chowdah!

SBI: It is my understanding that you are eschewing such unhealthy foods.
BC: Correct! In fact, I will be doing plenty of chewing on that pizza come game time.

SBI: {SIGH} Have you always been this obtuse?
BC: Uhh, NO! In fact, I was never over 200 pounds until 1999.

SBI: Thank you. That answers my question perfectly. Who you got winning this game?
BC: Bottom line is one cannot spell “I bELIeve” without E-L-I! With that, I say the Giants not only cover the 2-1/2 point spread but win outright, 28-24

Postseason Record:
Straight up: 6-4-0
Against The Spread: 3-7-0


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