Saturday, December 17, 2005

NFL Week 15: From the sublime to the ridiculous

Darling I don’t know why I go to extremes
Too high or too low there ain’t no in-betweens
And if I stand or I fall
It’s all or nothing at all
Darling I don’t know why I go to extremes

Billy Joel
“I Go to Extremes”

Was I lucky or was I good in Week 13? After a 13-3 showing, it would seem there was quite a bit of luck involved considering I did an about face in Week 14, going a dismal 3-12-1.

Oh well, it certainly is not the first time I have had extreme results when it came to sports prognostication.

A history lesson, if you please.

Extremely good: I said at the time of the 1999 NFL draft that Donovan McNabb was a better draft pick for the Philadelphia Eagles than was Ricky Williams.

Extremely bad: I said at the time of the 1998 NFL draft that the Indianapolis Colts should have selected Ryan Leaf over Peyton Manning.

Extremely good: There was no doubt in my mind that Tony Dungy would again be a successful coach in the NFL after his firing by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Extremely bad: It made no sense to me that the New England Patriots would give up draft picks for Bill Belichick.

Extremely good: I picked the Denver Broncos to upset the Green Bay Packers in Super Bowl XXXII. Broncos won, 31-24.

Extremely bad: I picked the Denver Broncos to upset the San Francisco 49ers in Super Bowl XXIV. Broncos lost, 55-10.

Extremely good: I thought the Vikings got a steal in the 1998 NFL draft, when WR Randy Moss slid down to them at the 21st pick.

Extremely bad: I thought the Vikings got a steal in the 1998 NFL draft, when WR Randy Moss slid down to them at the 21st pick.

One quick political aside:

Extremely good: I predicted President George W. Bush would be re-elected in 2004.

Extremely bad: If I recall correctly, my exact quote on Election night 1984 was “Congratulations, President Mondale”!

Perhaps we can find a happy medium here in Week 15 (or at least a 9-7 showing to allow me to get back to even for this NFL season).

As always, the following picks against the point spread are not to be used as a basis for a cash wager.

Buccaneers (+4 ½) at Patriots: This game matches the two franchises responsible for the last four Super Bowl victories as well as boyish quarterbacks (Chris Simms and Tom Brady) who use the word “neat” in a given conversation.
Pick: Patriots

Chiefs (+3) at Giants: Last week, Chiefs kicker Lawrence Tynes missed a game-tying field goal at the end of regulation in Dallas. A few weeks earlier, Jay Feely missed three game-winning attempts for the Giants in Seattle. I tell ya, New York won’t see that many missed threes in a night at Madison Square Garden.
Pick: Chiefs

Broncos (-8 ½) at Bills: Mike Mularkey to be suspended for one game by Buffalo for “coaching detrimental to the team.”
Pick: Broncos

Steelers (-3) at Vikings: To settle verbal dispute, Vikings DT Pat Williams and Steelers RB Jerome Bettis to battle one another in Sumo wrestling match. My only request is for neither to wear those big thong cloths.
Pick: Steelers

Chargers (+7 ½) at Colts: To bring good luck in an effort to match the 1972 Dolphins’ 14-0 start, Colts QB Peyton Manning will fashion the Bob Griese face mask.
Pick: Colts

49ers (+16) at Jaguars: To add insult to injury, the 2-11 Niners have to play a very good opponent and go all the way from California to Florida without receiving frequent flyer miles.
Pick: 49ers

Seahawks (-7) at Titans: Much heralded Titans rookie CB Adam “Pacman” Jones has looked more like “Donkey Kong” against opposing receivers.
Pick: Seahawks

Cardinals (-1 ½) at Texans: How much does Texans coach Dom Capers want this season to end? Instead of his coaches being piped into his headphones, Capers now listens to a simulcast of The Weather Channel.
Pick: Cardinals

Jets (+9) at Dolphins: Brooks Bollinger and Gus Frerotte are the respective starting QBs in this game. Who would have ever thought I would be nostalgic for the days of Richard Todd and Don Strock?
Pick: Dolphins

Panthers (-8) at Saints: The Panthers look to avenge Week 1 loss at home to the Saints. Yep, Todd Bouman as Saints QB ought to do it.
Pick: Panthers

Cowboys (+2 ½) at Redskins: After getting burned for two touchdowns by Santana Moss earlier this season, Cowboys safety Roy Williams requests to have bell placed on Moss’ neck.
Pick: Redskins

Bengals (-8) at Lions: Cornerback R.W. McQuarters of the Lions is the only player I ever saw who attempted to make a tackle without actually making contact.
Pick: Bengals

Browns (+3) at Raiders: Hey, Raiders fans. What was your favorite moment of the Marques Tuiasosopo era?
Pick: Raiders

Eagles (+3 1/2) at Rams: A rematch of the 2001 NFC title game. Yeah, in the way that “Blues Brothers 2000” was a follow-up to “The Blues Brothers”.
Pick: Eagles

Falcons (-3 ½) at Bears: In an attempt to irritate the injured ribs of Falcons QB Michael Vick, Bears defenders will tell funny jokes at the line of scrimmage.
Pick: Bears

Packers (-3 ½) at Ravens: At his current pace, Ravens QB Kyle Boller will eclipse Brett Favre in pass yardage around the 2035 season.
Pick: Packers

Overall record: 37-39-2

No comments: