Yes, Thanksgiving truly is a wonderful day when the three ‘F’s are in effect:
Feasts, Family and FOOTBALL!
You’ve heard the cliché of the three guarantees in life: Death, taxes and the Lions and Cowboys hosting games on Thanksgiving Day.
Allow me to flash back to the 1998 match-ups:
Lions hosting Pittsburgh, game headed to overtime. You remember? The Steelers’ Jerome Bettis called the OT coin flip “tails” which referee Phil Luckett thought sounded like “heads”. It came up tails, allowing the Lions to accept the kick off, much to the vigorous protests of Bettis. Invariably, the Lions took the kickoff and marched down the field for a game winning field goal. I still wonder to this day: What if the coin flip had come up “heads”? Would Bettis have gone with Luckett’s assertion that “heads” was called.
I guess we’ll never know.
The second game featured a team which would go on to set a single season record in points scored (the Minnesota Vikings) taking on the Cowboys. Randy Moss was a Vikings rookie then, causing more havoc on the field than off it in those days. Although, we caught a glimpse of what Moss would later offer after this contest featured him catching three passes for 163 yards and three touchdowns. After the Vikings’ 46-36 win, the local media attempted to get some quotes regarding such an outstanding performance. Moss declined, saying “Y’all aren’t TV.” Ah yes, the chip on young Randy’s shoulder was merely a boulder then. It has since blossomed into the Rock of Gibraltar.
Now for the disclaimer:
The following picks against the point spread……Ah, who am I kidding? In the two weeks I have been doing this lame bit I am a combined 11-19. Do I really need to emphasize that these picks are merely recreational and not a basis for actual betting?
Well, here goes:
Falcons (-3) at Lions: After a third consecutive week of throwing for over 200 yards, Falcons QB Michael Vick now wants every NFL team to retire jersey number 7.
Broncos (-2) at Cowboys: Is it me or does Drew Bledsoe look like he’s participating in the shot put whenever he throws a pass?
Ravens (+9) at Bengals: One week after facing the Colts’ offense, the Bengals take on the Ravens dreaded O. That’s like racing a Ferrari one week, a Pinto the next.
Rams (-3) at Texans: The first 10,000 fans entering Reliant Stadium will receive a David Carr bobble head doll complete with “Crash Test Dummy” gear.
Panthers (-4) at Bills: Aside to Willis McGahee: Is Drew Rosenhaus still your agent? If so, I thought I would issue a friendly reminder. If you rush for 105 yards Sunday against the Panthers (which would put you at 1,000 for the year), it is Buffalo Bills policy to not recognize such milestones.
Take that for what you will.
49ers (+8) at Titans: So the 49ers are in Nashville this weekend. My boldest prediction of Week 12: Niners QB Cody Pickett will throw a touchdown pass in the afternoon then successfully rope a calf in the evening.
Patriots (+3) at Chiefs: QB Tom Brady of the Patriots no longer wears a laminated sheet of plays on his wrist band. Due to all the injuries, that sheet has been replaced by a list of players on offense.
Bears (+3) at Buccaneers: The Bears defense will ensure Bucs QB Chris Simms will see more of the Raymond James stadium turf than has the fertilizer.
Chargers (-3) at Redskins: The Chargers are attempting to recapture their 60s glory days. Last week they invited Hall of Famer Lance Allworth to the game and wore the powder blue uniforms. This week head coach Marty Schottenheimer will exhibit the Sid Gillman scowl.
Browns (+4) at Vikings: Whenever Vikings kicker Paul Edinger lines up for a field goal, coach Mike Tice will tell him there’s 3 seconds left in the game, scored tied.
Dolphins (+7) at Raiders: When asked about his lack of enthusiasm over QB Kerry Collins, Raiders’ wide receiver Randy Moss replied, “I endorse when I want to endorse.”
Jaguars (-3 ½) at Cardinals: Rumor has it that Cards’ head coach Dennis Green is looking to leave by agreeing to a settlement on the last three years of his contract. Man, I haven’t seen this rotten a rebounding career since Jason Alexander went from “Seinfeld” to “Bob Patterson”.
Giants (+4 ½) at Seahawks: Watching Giants QB Eli Manning throw passes to WR Plaxico Burress reminds me of my childhood when I tossed peanuts to a giraffe at the zoo.
Packers (+4 ½) at Eagles: Samkon Gado, running back, Green Bay Packers. In listening to my Wisconsin relatives, one would have thought Gado was the second coming of Walter Payton. During last Monday night's game he looked more like Walter Brennan.
Saints (-1 ½) at Jets: Jets owner Woody Johnson vowed coach Herman Edwards would return to the team next season, saying Wednesday "Herm's not leaving." Aren’t there laws in place against false imprisonment?
Steelers (+8) at Colts: To the relief of Steelers fans, Ben Roethlisberger is probable to start at QB Monday night. Man, there’s never been this much fuss over a faulty “Big Ben” in London.