Dang, these Super Bowl weekends sneak up on me!
And to think this is the nineteenth installment of this SB prediction bit. On the off chance there is someone new here, a guy who dubs himself "Super Bowl Inquisitor" makes an annual appearance on my site to discuss things involving the big game. Basically, he'll fire off a question or statement and I'll reply with an utterly hilarious retort (well.....at least I crack myself up).
So to paraphrase Benster Gerbschmidt Heuring of the inimitable Mr. Dilettante’s Neighborhood....."Watch us work."
Super Bowl Inquisitor: Check out this scenario - in a year where two geriatric males are running for President of the United States, the Kansas City Chiefs score a double digit victory over the San Francisco 49ers in the Super Bowl. Oh, and let's throw in some sort of deadly plague to boot.
Brad Carlson: OK, as a political observer, 49ers fan and kind of a germaphobe, I'm officially depressed by this prediction. Maybe we oughta end this bit right now.
SBI: Prediction? No, I'm recapping events from the first few months of 2020.
BC: Thanks for the lookback, Mr. History Buff.
SBI: You're welcome.
Country music legend Reba McEntire will sing the National Anthem. Your thoughts?
BC: An awesome choice! I'm anticipating a sheer patriotic version of The Star Spangled Banner. Here's your one chance to not be fancy, Reba. Don't let me down!
SBI: And halftime entertainment will be brought to you by Usher. Do you like any of his tunes?
BC: Yeah!
SBI: OK. Which one?
BC: More.
SBI: More what? I'm asking simple questions here.
BC: And I answered with Yeah! and More.
SBI: OMG.
SBI: Do the kids still say "whatevs?"
Anyhow, let's get this one out of the way early. What's your feelings on all the hype surrounding musical icon Taylor Swift and her relationship with Chiefs' player Travis Kelce?
BC: Is there such a phrase as "passionate indifference?" Because when it comes to the status of their relationship and where they spend their free time, that's how I can best describe my sentiments.
SBI: Given Taylor has a concert in Tokyo this weekend, it's going to be a close call whether or not she arrives on time for the big game in Las Vegas. Think she'll make it?
BC: No clue, but I'm sure the Swifties are going to demand that NORAD implement for Taylor the Santa Claus flight tracker. There hasn't been this much attention on a singular flight since the ill-fated Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.
SBI: So you're not terribly bothered that the TV cameras pan to her when Travis has big plays?
BC: Not at all. But given it's an election year, I demand equal time for Olivia Culpo when her boyfriend Christian McCaffrey makes a splash.
SBI: Speaking of McCaffrey, if his 49ers prevail, he and his dad Ed will have the distinction of being the first father-son duo to win a Super Bowl for the same franchise. Cool, huh?
BC: Very cool, yes. But I still hold in slightly higher esteem the father-son duo of Carmine and Francis Ford Coppola winning four Oscars between them for The Godfather.
SBI: Speaking of dads, any chance the recent DWI arrest of Patrick Mahomes, Sr. will impact his son's quest for a third Super Bowl championship?
BC: Nah. If anything, the younger Mahomes is more distracted by the focus on his dad bod.
SBI: History will be made this game: A man by the name of Terry Killens will be the Umpire on Sunday, making him the first to officiate *and* play in a Super Bowl (he was with the 1999 Tennessee Titans).
BC: Given he had one special teams tackle in Super Bowl 34, I'm guessing he's going to have a bigger impact this game since he's armed with a yellow flag.
SBI: Each team has been sustained offensively by players (RB Isiah Pacheco for the Chiefs; QB Brock Purdy for the 49ers) who were selected within the final 12 picks of the 2022 NFL draft. Who woulda thunk it?
BC: Reminiscent of the successful offensive by the Ewoks when taking on the big bad Empire on the forest moon of Endor.
SBI: Are you and the Mrs. hosting a big gathering during the game this year?
BC: Nah. Only about 3-4 friends coming over. And they'll be treated to some mighty fine BBQ as well as cupcakes with red and yellow sprinkles. Kind of a hat tip to Kansas City.
SBI: What, no love for San Francisco????
BC: Eh. Not really a fan of Rice-A-Roni or sidewalk feces. Though I could pay homage to San Fran by breaking into a CVS while donning my George Kittle jersey.
SBI: On that note, let's get to your prediction. The 49ers are currently 2-point favorites. How ya see this one?
BC: I indicated two weeks ago that this year's Super Bowl would essentially be the coronation of whomever wins the AFC title game. So I've been pretty bullish on KC the past several days. In fact, I haven’t been this confident in my Super Bowl pick since I predicted the 18-0 New England Patriots to comfortably defeat the New York Giants 16 years ago.
So with that in mind, I’m performing an “about face” by going with the 49ers in a tight knit ballgame. Call it 24-21, Niners.
Enjoy the game, all!
My 2023 postseason record:
Against the spread: 7-5
Straight up: 9-3
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