Saturday, February 02, 2019

Super Bowl LIII: The Q & A

Hard to believe that this is the 14th installment of this annual bit with my pal Super Bowl Inquisitor. While we call it a "Q&A," it sometimes delves into a weird conversation.

Regardless, here goes nothin'.

Super Bowl Inquisitor: The New England Patriots are in the Super Bowl for the third consecutive season and four of the past five years. Are you personally suffering from Patriots fatigue?
Brad Carlson: Nah. How can anyone grow tired of gratuitous camera panning to Gisele B√ľndchen (aka Mrs Tom Brady)?

SBI: The Los Angeles Rams were the beneficiaries of a horrible non-call in the NFC Championship Game, a big reason they're in the Super Bowl. Do you think they feel any guilt over that? 
BC: Probably in the same way Jethro Tull felt remorse over besting Metallica for Best Heavy Metal recording in the late '80s. Ah, but notice they never relinquished the award.

SBI: Legendary singer Gladys Knight to sing the National Anthem. Your thoughts?
BC: She should have no trouble arriving to the venue on time provided she takes the Midnight train to Georgia.


SBI: You should be.

The headliner of the halftime entertainment will be Maroon 5. What say you?
BC: I have no idea what songs they'll choose but it makes me wonder if lead singer Adam Levine will have moves like Jagger.

SBI: For the love of.....Ugh. Never mind.

What's your reaction to Pink Floyd band member Roger Waters encouraging members of the halftime entertainment to take a knee in order to show solidarity with Colin Kaepernick? 
BC: I'd much prefer they show solidarity with Peyton Manning by writing lame commercial jingle lyrics for Nationwide.

SBI: The ex-Vikings factor: The Patriots have Cordarrelle Patterson while John Sullivan is a member of the Rams. Any preference as to who gets the ring?
BC: No preference. However, if the Rams win, I'd love for Sullivan (who was a member of the Vikings when they lost that heart breaker in New Orleans nine years ago) to taunt Who Dat nation by saying "THIS IS FOR FAVRE, B**CHES!!!!"

SBI: What's on your Super Bowl menu?
BC: I have a motto: If it's green it's trouble; if it's fried, make it double.

SBI: Are you a connoisseur of the commercials?
BC: Eh. Not really. Though given what it costs to run a 30-60 second ad during the Super Bowl, it appears we've found a venue which spends money at a faster rate than the Federal government.

SBI: And finally, the Patriots are a 2-1/2 point favorite over the Rams. Who ya got?
BC: It was 17 years ago this weekend that a young, upstart Patriots team effectively ended the Rams' mini-dynasty with an upset win in Super Bowl XXXVI. New England has been a perennial contender since. But with Pats QB Tom Brady at 40+ years of age combined with a dearth of superstars, the end is near for this nearly two decade run. I say it comes full circle with the Rams ending what started at the expense of their franchise 17 years ago. I'm going 35-31 Rams.

With that, enjoy the game!

My 2018 Postseason Record:
Against the Spread: 1-8-1
Straight Up: 5-5



Mr. D said...

Benster says Rams, too. That should make you nervous. I picked the Pats.

Clipping Path said...

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