Is it Super Bowl weekend already?!?! Why yes, it is! That means the Super Bowl Inquisitor (SBI) comes out of his bunker for the annual SB banter between he and I. If you're new to this bit, SBI will ask a question (or pose a statement) and I'll reply with (occasional) repartee.
Here goes nothin'.
Super Bowl Inquisitor: This year's big game is essentially in your backyard. How do you feel Minneapolis has fared in its hosting duties?
Brad Carlson: I can only imagine it's on par with how the residents of Hoth greeted the Rebel Alliance.
SBI: Have you attended any of the festivities of Super Bowl week?
BC: Nah. I'm a football purist, so all I'm interested in is the game itself. Besides, when the big game was here 26 years ago I attended one day of the NFL Experience. Long story short, my then crippling social anxiety (I'm much better now, thanks) resulted in my coming off as a buffoon when chatting with a pretty young lady.
SBI: With the Super Bowl participants being from the
Philadelphia and Boston areas, this has to be a nightmare for their
rival sports city New York, eh?
BC: It's hard to feel sorry for a populace who deems Bill de Blasio fit to run their city.
SBI: Pop singer Pink has the honor of performing the National Anthem. Your thoughts?
BC: Who better than Pink to "get the party started?"
SBI: And the headliner for the halftime show is Justin Timberlake. What say you?
BC: Unless Jessica Biel will be alongside him, this doesn't do much for me.
SBI: Does Ms. Biel even sing?
BC: What, is that a prerequisite?
SBI: Despite being the "home" team, the Patriots are going to wear their "away" white jerseys. The reason being is, in the Brady/Belichick era, they're 3-0 in Super Bowls when they've worn white. Do you have any superstitions like that?
BC: You bet. Every evening I check exactly three times if our garage door is closed.
SBI: Um, that sounds more like OCD than a superstition.
BC: Eh. Now you're just splittin' hairs.
SBI: What's on your ideal Super Bowl menu?
BC: Well.... chips & salsa, guacamole, corn bread muffins with butter, twinkies and pretzels.
SBI: That's an...um...interesting assortment of food to eat.
BC: Eat? No, I'm more interested in those foods serving this purpose:
SBI: Ah. Fair point.
OK, let's get down to it. The Patriots are 4-1/2 point favorites over the Eagles. Your official prediction?
BC: A goat could easily batter a foal, correct?
SBI: Um. Sure.
BC: Well, Patriots QB Tom Brady is the G.O.A.T. (Greatest Of All Time). The Eagles quarterback has a last name which reminds one of baby horses (Nick Foles). Since we've established that a goat > foal, I am going with the Pats to win. Call it 28-21, New England.
SBI: That was the most convoluted rationale I've ever heard.
BC: I gotta be me.
With that, enjoy the game, folks!
2017 Postseason Record:
Against the Spread: 4-5-1
Straight Up: 6-4