Carlson kids: past & present.

Searching through some old photos recently, I came across this one:




(Left to Right): Carly, Eric, Dad, Ben and Me. Why is no one smiling?

It is the only time in Carlson family history that my Dad has been with all four of his kids at one time. This historic occurrence took place in December 1989 when the entire family gathered together to celebrate Grandma & Grandpa Carlson’s 50th wedding anniversary.

The four of us at Grandma & Grandpa's 50th!


My brother Eric, age 36, is single, lives in Saint Paul and works in construction. While he and I didn’t get along too well as kids, we have become pretty good friends over the past several years. In fact, he was best man in my wedding! We have also been able to commiserate over the difficult relationship (or lack thereof) we’ve had with our father. It wasn’t until recently where we realized how good we had it as a family unit when it was Mom, Eric and I all those years. We would certainly welcome Dad into our lives if he so chooses. For now, Dad is going with the silent treatment.

Half-Sister Carly, 34, finally found love! Since her early 20s, she’d had a slew of serious boyfriends. She then got to the point in her late 20s where if a guy called more than once per week, she felt he was getting too clingy. But she officially settled down in September 2005 when she married husband Matt. They now live near Santa Barbara, CA where Matt is stationed in the Marine Corps.

Half-Brother Ben, 31, is in the Fresno area I believe. He was a high school drop out at 16 and was kicked out of his mother’s house at 18. With nowhere to go, Ben joined the Marines in 1994, got married in ’98, divorced in ’99 and left the Marine Corps in 2000. For about five years he muddled through life working odd jobs down in Fresno. For the past couple years he has been in the firefighter training program. I spoke with him for the first time in 5 ½ years when he turned 30 about 13 months ago. What was scary was he sounded like my Dad in the way he talked, the things he said, etc. I know Dad has not heard from Ben since October last year. Of course, Dad may have finally tracked him down by wandering the streets of Fresno.

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An unwelcome visitor.

For the next few days, we are dogsitting my sister-law’s dog Sasha. Naturally, the first thing she wanted to do was get acquainted with our cats.

Judging by the video footage, the cats were not in a playful mood.




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Bonds finally hits 756.

It was inevitable.

San Francisco Giants slugger Barry Bonds finally became the all-time home run king by hitting number 756 tonight against the Washington Nationals. For me, the only thing worse than Bonds breaking the record was the fact that ESPN decided to broadcast every single Giants game over the past couple of weeks.

After Bonds surpassed Hank Aaron on the all-time home run list, Aaron’s video congratulations was played on the center field scoreboard. I only wish there would have been a second televised message. Not from Aaron, but from ESPN saying “Thank you, San Francisco Giants. We now return you to your regularly scheduled irrelevance.”

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National Night Out.

The first Tuesday every August is “National Night Out”, a community-police partnership to increase awareness about police programs in communities. On our street, there were approximately fifteen people who gathered together for fellowship, barbecuing, etc.

For the first half hour of the party, my wife and I were the only two people younger than age 50. It turned out that the other 30-something aged folks were the ones who were fashionably late. But we didn’t care as it was a nice evening to sit back and enjoy all the company, regardless of age.

Half way through the get-together, we were privileged to have received a visit from Bruce Sanders, our City Councilman. Naturally, Mr. Sanders was inundated by the folks in our neighborhood who all have their opinions on how the area where we reside can be improved. Living so close to Hwy 10, one resident inquired about the possibility of a sound wall to alleviate the noise caused by congested traffic. Mr. Sanders lamented the fact on how that will never happen. He went on to say how broke MNDOT was and how “this governor” has drove it into the ground. Oh, but he didn’t stop there. According to Sanders, it was only thanks to Rep. James Oberstar (D-MN) that we received the $3.5 billion in funding for 2004-09 but that the only road improvements taking place in Minnesota happen to be in the area where Transportation Commissioner Carol Molnau lives. Yes, demagoguery trickles down all the way to the city level.

Hey, it’s not my fault that Sanders landed back on the City Council. I voted for fellow Protest Warrior Sean Novack.

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Back to work.

For the first time since Wednesday, July 18 I put in a full day of work!

Even though I have yet to find a permanent position, I will be working for a Saint Paul direct mailing company on a two-week contract basis. My mission while there is to determine the cause of a $500,000 discrepancy in a postage account.

The first day analysis: Worse than the dentist.

But better than the proctologist!

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Tiger rallies; Now what?

For some sports pundits/talking heads it’s been boring covering Tiger Woods over the past ten years. Woods has not only been prolifically winning PGA majors, he’s at times been in another stratosphere compared to the rest of the field.

Of course, the knock on him thus far in 2007 is that he has yet to win a Grand Slam event. Some of golf's other all-time greatest players have gone two, maybe three years between major championships. But Woods goes almost one year without a major (the 2006 PGA last August was his last) and it’s suddenly national news.

The only “flaw” anyone could conjure up regarding Tiger’s play is the fact he’s not good at “coming from behind.” When Tiger trails going into the final day of match play he doesn’t ever win.

Well, we can throw that one out the window now.


In the final event before the final major of the year, Woods buried Rory Sabbatini and the rest of the field Sunday at the Bridgestone Invitational for an eight-shot victory, sending his confidence soaring Sunday as he left for Southern Hills and the PGA Championship.


Tiger’s thoughts after capturing the title at the Bridgestone?


"This might just give me a little more confidence," Woods said.


I’m sure that’s the last thing the field wanted to hear with the PGA championship coming up next weekend.

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Libs & mainstream media: Facts optional.

What I found most infuriating about the disastrous I-35W bridge collapse is the endless demagoguery by the mainstream media and liberal politicians.

Check out some of the comments offered up by those who do not even wait for the full story to come out.


CRAIG CRAWFORD, MSNBC: I've looked up what it would take to fix the nation's infrastructure. It's about $532 billion a year. It just so happens to be about what we're spending in Iraq.

JOE SCARBOROUGH, MSNBC: Certainly American voters would probably decide it would be wiser to invest in our own aging infrastructure than continuing to throw good money after bad in Iraq.

GREG HUNTER, CNN: We're spending billions of dollars every month in Iraq.

REP. BARNEY FRANK (D-MA): If we did not have the war in Iraq, with hundreds of billions of dollars, we would be able to do a great deal more.

JACKASS CAFFERTY, CNN: How could the US better spend the $2 billion a week that we're pouring into Iraq here at home?

BILL TUCKER, CNN: We're spending about a trillion dollars in infrastructure in Iraq.

LOU DOBBS, CNN: We're not even succeeding in rebuilding the infrastructure and creating new infrastructure in Iraq.

SENATOR AMY KLOBUCHAR (D-MN): Priorities in our country have been out of whack the last few years. We've spent like almost $500 billion in Iraq.


The various talking heads would have you believe that the bridge collapsed due to a lack of funds. But a 2005 news release by MnDOT (via Power Line) effectively debunks such shameless rhetoric.


U.S. President George Bush signed a $286.4 billion six-year transportation reauthorization bill Aug. 10, 2005 that covers federal fiscal years 2004-09.

Although the details of the reauthorization package are still being reviewed, Minnesota state and local governments can expect to receive about $3.5 billion in federal transportation funding through 2009, an increase of about 46 percent (or about $1.1 billion) over the previous six-year bill.


I guess we can’t blame the libs and their cohorts in the media. Why should they let the facts get in the way of a good demagogue?

Another classic example would be the appearance of vapid vacuous hack Star Tribune columnist Nick Coleman on MSNBC:






To quote character Ricky Fitts from the movie American Beauty: "What a sad old man you are."


UPDATE: The Kool Aid Report effectively slices and dices Coleman's post-collapse screed.


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Katie Couric slammed: Part MMCLXVII

“I've always really liked Katie's work. I think she does a good job and she's a good journalist, but I think, by trying to put her into a completely different format, she's gone from being sort of an exuberant presence to someone who looks like they've been kidnapped and drugged and are making a hostage tape.”

-Mary Mapes, former producer of CBS evening news, commenting on Katie Couric in her role as anchor of said evening news program.


By the way, has there been any response from CBS head guy Les Moonves on Mapes' analysis? When former CBS news anchor Dan Rather gave an unflattering synopsis of Couric’s work, Moonves labeled his remarks “sexist”.

Come to think of it, Moonves will probably give Mapes a pass on her comments. After all, she served a valuable purpose in her role as scapegoat in the forged documents scandal at CBS.

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Will '07 be Heaven for Cubdom?

The 21st century seems to be the magical time frame to break baseball’s greatest curses.

In 2004, the Boston Red Sox exorcised the dreaded “Curse of the Bambino” with their World Series championship. Their 4-0 sweep of the St Louis Cardinals seemed almost anticlimactic in the wake of their 4-3 ALCS triumph over their arch rival New York Yankees. The Sox did something never done in the history of Major League Baseball – rally from a 3-0 deficit to win a best of seven series.

The other Sox, the Chicago White Sox that is, won it all the following season in 2005. That broke an 88-year drought when manager Pants Rowland led the pale hose to a World Series championship in 1917. From the “Black Sox” scandal in 1919 to “Disco Demolition Night” in 1979, Chicago’s south siders have seen some bizarre things happen on and off the diamond in between championship seasons.

But all that pales in comparison to the plight of Chi-town’s north siders.

In Cubbie land, certain one or two word phrases are all that's required to convey decades of heartache and frustration.

Billy Goat

Black Cat

Leon Durham

Bartman

Yes, it has been almost an entire century since the Chicago Cubs last won a World Series. It was 1908 when the Cubbies last claimed the title as baseball’s best.

Could the 21st century prove to be as kind to the Cubs as it has been to a pair of Sox? On June 21, the Cubs were 32-39, 8 ½ games out of first place in the NL Central and in utter disarray. But in just over five weeks since, the Cubbies have gone 25-11 and are now percentage points ahead of the Milwaukee Brewers for first in the NL Central.

So if my Twins can’t make a go of it this season, I am officially jumping on the Cubs bandwagon!

It’s not that I’m brand new to Cubdom. I actually had the privilege of attending a couple of games in historic Wrigley Field once upon a time. It was Labor Day weekend back in 1993 when my buddy Skip and I indulged in the Saturday and Sunday afternoon games.




"Excuse me, Sir? Sally Jessy Raphael would like her glasses back."

A view from our seats. We sat right by the visitors' bullpen down the right field line!!

I may have to break out that Cubs jersey this Fall!!


Given that I haven’t worn it in fourteen years I’ll be lucky if I could fit one arm in it.

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8/1/2007: A day we won't soon forget.

I can only describe last evening in a series of one-word phrases.

Bizarre.

Horrific.

Surreal.

Devastating.

Tragic.





I first heard the news of the I-35W bridge collapsing into the Mississippi River at 6:20 pm, approximately 15 minutes after it actually happened. I was tuning in to Channel 4 news to catch Mark Rosen’s sports cast (the only watchable/listenable aspect of WCCO news) when live coverage of the tragedy was being aired. Not wanting to listen to the inevitable demagoguery that would ensue from DFL Don Shelby, I switched over to KSTP channel 5 news.

Within ten minutes of soaking in the horrific scene of 35W, we got a call from my mother-in law. Her frantic tone had us very worried in the wake of my father-in law having cosmetic surgery done on his nose. This was a couple of weeks after several skin cancer cells were removed from that area. I felt the need to explain the reasoning behind such a procedure since this 77-year old man would not be so vain as to have a face lift.

But I digress.

Anyhow, he was bleeding profusely to the point where he was becoming light-headed. We took the one hour jaunt to western Wisconsin in an attempt to both calm my panicking mother-in law and drive my father-in law to the Woodbury hospital where his surgeon would meet him.

In the end, the medical staff at Woodwinds hospital was able to get my father-in law cleaned up and sedated so he could rest comfortably overnight.

To summarize, I spent about 3 ½ hours in the waiting area of an emergency room watching on TV one of the largest calamities in Minnesota history while occasionally checking in on my father-in law, who’s face looked like it had been run through a meat grinder.

August 1, 2007 will be a day I won’t soon forget.

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Johan Santana set to leave?

When I first heard this, I knew it was much ado about nothing. Nevertheless, the media has to make mountains out of mole hills.


The Minnesota Twins didn't add any players but did subtract their starting second baseman at the trade deadline. And after watching his front office's inactivity, ace Johan Santana reportedly didn't hide his disappointment.

"It's not just about hope," Santana told The Star Tribune. "In a realistic world, you have to really make it happen and go for it.

"You always talk about future, future. ... But if you only worry about the future, then I guess a lot of us won't be part of it," Santana told the newspaper.

Santana can be a free agent after the 2008 season. The only move Minnesota made before the non-waiver trade deadline was to send second baseman Luis Castillo to the New York Mets for two minor league prospects.

"Why waste time when you're talking about something that's always going to be like that? It's never going to be beyond this point," Santana told the newspaper. "It doesn't make any sense for me to be here, you know?"


I don’t view the Castillo trade as a sign the Twins are raising the proverbial white flag for this year. Instead, the organization viewed it as an opportunity to obtain some players in a trade as opposed to losing Castillo to free agency after the 2007 campaign. It has pretty much been set in stone that Castillo would not be retained beyond ‘07 in an effort to free up money to sign Torii Hunter to an extension. With Hunter also a free agent after this season, he clearly is a higher priority given the Twins best centerfield prospect, Denard Span, is not ready for the big leagues. But the organization thinks very highly of second baseman Alexi Casilla, who was called up from AAA Rochester to replace Castillo on the roster.

If the Twins do indeed sign Hunter to a long term extension, you can bet Santana will significantly soften his tone.

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Chief Justice Roberts falls ill.

Some rather disturbing news from the East Coast:


Chief Justice John Roberts suffered a seizure at his summer home in Maine on Monday, causing a fall that resulted in minor scrapes, Supreme Court spokeswoman Kathy Arberg said.

He will remain in a hospital in Maine overnight.

"It's my understanding he's fully recovered, said Christopher Burke, a spokesman for Penobscot Bay Medical Center, where Roberts was taken.

Roberts, 52, was taken by ambulance to the medical center, where he underwent a "thorough neurological evaluation, which revealed no cause for concern," Arberg said in a statement.


Can you imagine if a similar incident happened to either Justice John Paul Stevens or Ruth Bader Ginsburg? It’s a good bet that some liberal sock puppet in the blogosphere or mainstream media would lay blame on some right wing plot to pack the courts with more conservative judges. Just imagine if one of those liberal justices fell ill shortly after a Republican senator said something along the lines of “The Supreme Court is dangerously out of balance.” Yes, the lefty hysterics and conspiracy theories would really be kicked into high gear. Actually those words were spoken recently by Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY), claiming the Senate should not confirm another U.S. Supreme Court nominee under President Bush “except in extraordinary circumstances.”

It’s not totally out of character for libs to concoct such kooky theories. Does anyone remember last December when Joy Behar of The View inquired about the ability of invoking “man made strokes” after Senator Tim Johnson (D-SD) was stricken with such an ailment? If Johnson were unable to complete his term, the Governor of his state (in this case, a Republican) would name a successor. In turn, that could have swung the Senate majority back in favor of the GOP. Behar theorized it could have been the Republicans who caused Johnson’s illness because she knew what “that party is capable of.”

I don’t even want to browse the lefty blogosphere in light of this incident involving the Chief Justice. I can only surmise that I would need to take another shower.

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Talk show titan passes on; gave Weird Al his TV debut

Long time talk show host Tom Snyder passed away Sunday evening at the age of 71. To be honest, I wasn’t a big fan of Snyder himself. However, no one could deny the power-packed guests Snyder could book on his late night shows. John Lennon, Charles Manson, cast members of Star Trek, just to name a few.

For me, Snyder’s show served the ultimate noble purpose when he offered a venue for Weird Al Yankovic’s television debut.

Al, along with band mate Jon “Bermuda” Schwartz, appeared on Snyder’s Tomorrow Show in 1981. One of the first songs Yankovic ever parodied was Queen’s Another One Bites the Dust.

Here now is Weird Al Yankovic performing one of his first hits on said TV debut, Another One Rides the Bus.




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Whiny Libs: Part MCMLXXIV

Q: What do you call a bunch of liberals locked in a basement?

A: A whine cellar.


Yes, I know that’s a slight variation of an old joke. But it seems oh so appropriate given their shenanigans over the past couple of months.

As we know, libs are abysmal failures at talk radio. When it comes to competing in the marketplace of ideas, liberals will always be defeated since the American people don’t care to hear their country being run into the ground. So instead of toning down the shrill and vile rhetoric, the libs stick to their motto of having even more government intervention. This time it’s the futile efforts to resurrect the undead that is lib talk radio by reinstituting the Fairness Doctrine.

Thankfully that idea, like Air America itself, is all but dead.


The Federal Communications Commission has no intention of reinstating the Fairness Doctrine imposing a requirement of balanced coverage of issues on public airwaves, FCC Chairman Kevin Martin said.

Martin, in a letter written this week to Rep. Mike Pence, R-Ind., and made public Thursday, said the agency found no compelling reason to revisit its 1987 decision that enforcing the federal rule was not in the public interest.


Besides, parasites like Al Franken need people such as Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly et al to succeed. It’s using those names/faces on his books which affords “Frankenfraud” the title of “Best-Selling author.”

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Summer of '07.

I feel like a kid on Summer vacation! Oh, don’t get me wrong. Since being let go from my job after last Wednesday, I have stayed busy searching for gainful employment. But the search doesn’t typically begin before 9:30 am.

Here is a glimpse of what I have done since I was handed my walking papers:


Thursday, July 19: Woke up at about 9:00 am, due to the fact I didn’t get home until after Midnight (Traffic was awful leaving the Twins game Wednesday evening). My awesome gal made pancakes for breakfast. We then hung around the house until about Noon when we went to visit my wife’s parents in Western Wisconsin. My in-laws grilled the most phenomenal steaks I have had in quite sometime in addition to serving the most exquisite corn on the cob. Hung out there until about 8:30 pm and then headed home.

Friday, July 20: Got up early, around 9:15 I guess. Bacon and eggs for breakfast. After breakfast, my gal and I went for a long 10-mile bike ride. Didn’t do much else the rest of the day. I think we may have gone to Applebee’s for dinner later on but that was about it.

Monday, July 23: Slept in until about 9:45 due to being up until 4:00 a.m. watching Goodfellas on AMC. Again, pancakes for breakfast. My brother called me at 11:30 asking me to take my mom to the doctor since he had to borrow her car. I dropped off mom at her doctor’s office in Woodbury in time for her 1:00 appointment. I hung out at the local Northwestern book store until mom was done at 2:30. Mom then treated me to lunch at Don Pablo’s Mexican restaurant. In waiting for rush hour traffic to die down, I headed home around 6:00. I then went for a 45-minute bike ride from 7:30 until 8:15.

Tuesday, July 24: I actually got up at 7:30 a.m. to get ready for a 9:00 appointment in downtown Minneapolis. I was home by 10:15. At 10:45 I talked to a recruiter guy whom I have been working with for a month or so. He had some job prospects he wanted to run by me. At 11:30, I had a phone interview with a Maple Grove company. Once that was done, my gal had grilled burgers and corn on the cob waiting for me. At 1:00, I decided to take a one hour nap (since I was up soooo early) before going to work out at the health club. I then worked out from 2:30 until 3:30. In the continuation of spoiling me rotten (as well as fattening me up) my gal brought home some pizza from Old Chicago restaurant after visiting with some of her friends there. We then watched a couple of DVDs the rest of the evening before turning in for the night.


I know this will all end soon enough. But I have to say I am certainly enjoying it while it lasts!!!

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Have you ever laughed soooo hard.....

….that you had to stand up to catch your breath?

Well, the following video made by my good buddy Greg could be placed in such a category.

Don’t say I didn’t warn ya!




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W's good week.

It was a rare good week for President Bush in what has been overall a rather tumultuous second term.

-The economy continues to hum along, with the Dow Jones industrial average breaking 14,000 for the first time.

-One of the most fraudulent and overblown stories in political history, the Valerie Plame “leak case”, has come to a merciful and long overdue end. A judge tossed Plame’s suit, which accused Bush administration officials of leaking her identity as a CIA operative.

-In a rare moment of clarity, the President didn’t botch a joke (unlike his 2004 opponent for President) during one of his speeches. In a visit to Tennessee yesterday, the President alluded to the Democrats desires to increase taxes. When pointing out that such massive hikes would subsequently harm businesses like the Nashville Bun Co., President Bush said:


I would warn the Nashville Bun Company to be very careful with this kind of approach because you can't keep making buns if the Democrats take all your dough.


Hey, you take the positives wherever and whenever you can get 'em.

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View from the cheap elite seats!

My good friend Dave scored a couple of tickets to see the Twins take on the Detroit Tigers last evening. In my almost thirty years as a Twins fan, these were by far the best seats I’ve ever had. We were two rows back above the first base dugout. These weren’t just any seats mind you. These were the club level dugout seats where a waitress comes to take your order! In going with my customary nitrate stick Dome Dog and Diet Coke, the waitress brought it to me personally as opposed to handing it to someone on the aisle seat and having them pass it on down. She even opened my 20 oz. bottle of Diet Coke and placed it in the cup holder in front of me. Now that’s the way to enjoy a ball game!!

Alas, the Twins turned in yet another frustrating performance in a 3-2 loss. While I was disappointed in the outcome, I enjoyed filming some up-close video clips of the action.




Johan Santana gets Ryan Raburn to fly out to right field for the first out of the game.




Santana ends the first inning by getting Gary Sheffield to ground out to shortstop.




Pat Neshek’s stellar relief effort continues with a strikeout of Magglio Ordonez.

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Transition update.

I had a great second interview yesterday with a Twin Cities manufacturing company. The initial phone interview took place on Monday and then I was called back right away to come in to meet with the Accounting Manager and the HR generalist on Wednesday. The whole process started at 3:00 and I was done by 4:30. I’ll find out Monday the 23rd if I’m in line for a third interview.

As I got in my car to go home I saw I had a voice mail message on my cell phone.

It went something along the lines of the following:


Hey Brad, it’s “Hagzilla” (my boss, but not her real name). I just wanted to let you know that you don’t have to come in tomorrow. I talked to “Tortoise Lady” (my replacement, but not her real name) and she didn’t feel as though she was benefiting from you being here so we’ll go ahead and release you now. I’ll pay you on Friday for your two weeks worked and then still go ahead and pay your severance. Good luck to you (Sound of her slamming the phone down).


Classy, eh?

Apparently, Hagzilla was a bit irritated that I ducked out at 2:30 yesterday afternoon to go to my job interview. Huh. I guess I didn’t realize that it was improper etiquette to actually search for gainful employment after having been fired placed on “Transition Employment.” As it turned out, I got no latitude despite having worked an average of two Saturdays per month while employed by that company.

Oh well, I can’t be too upset. After all, if you’re reading this on Thursday, July 19 before 10 am, it’s a good bet I’m still in REM sleep.
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One down, eight to go!

Day one of nine is in the books! Today began “Transition Employment” with my current employer. After firing me separating employment, my employer offered me the opportunity to stay with the company through July 27 and collect some severance. If I declined, then today would have been day one of unemployment. I honestly wrestled with the decision of whether or not to go back. Truth be told, I’d rather defecate a flaming hot porcupine than to work there another day (My apologies for the unwanted visual). But my motto for every noble duty these days is “It’s for our baby.” We are still progressing with our adoption plans, so any extra cash is welcome at this point.

The good news is I have a two-hour interview scheduled tomorrow with a well-established Twin Cities company. I had an initial phone interview yesterday and then I received a call this afternoon asking me to meet with the Human Resources director as well as Corporate Accounting Manager. It looks promising!

But I still wouldn’t be opposed to taking off the month of August should I not find gainful employment within the next two weeks.

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