Super Bowl LIX: The Q&A

It absolutely boggles my mind that this is the twentieth installment of this Super Bowl prognostication bit. Had you told me when I did the first one that I'd continue this segment for another two decades, I would have thought it was as likely as Sam Darnold leading my Vikings club to 14 wins in 2024. Yet here we are. 

Anyhow, in the event there is anyone new here (which seems about as likely as someone looking to purchase a rotary phone), my acquaintance dubbed the Super Bowl Inquisitor tosses out some inquiries and I offer up the nonsensical retorts. 

As always, this pick against the point spread is not recommended as the basis for a cash wager. 

Super Bowl Inquisitor: So, uh, we've done 20 of these, huh? Dang, you're old.

Brad Carlson: I never really felt it was noticeable until I visited a Wendy's recently and was offered the 55+ discount. 

SBI: It also means this is twenty seasons where your Vikings haven't been a part of this bit. 

BC: Not sure if it's that or the Wendy's cashier calling out my age that makes me feel worse. 

SBI: OK, onto the big game itself. We have a rematch of two years ago with the Philadelphia Eagles taking on the Kansas City Chiefs. Outside of the two fan bases, there doesn't seem to be a lot of enthusiasm for either team. 

BC: Personally, I've adopted the same philosophy Henry Kissinger conveyed about the Iran-Iraq war in that it's a shame both can't lose. 

SBI: Two years ago, these teams were both top 3 in scoring offense. This season, they were both top 5 in scoring *defense.* Quite a change in philosophy, eh?  

BC: I haven't seen that dramatic a transformation in such a short period since Tom Hanks went from Sleepless in Seattle to Philadelphia. 

SBI: For the first time in 12 years, the Super Bowl is back in New Orleans. Any insight as to why the long gap between the Big Easy being the host city? 

BC: Well, the last Super Bowl there had a minutes long delay midgame due to a power outage in the stadium. I guess it was a bad look for the commissioner of a billion dollar league running to a hardware store to buy a power generator. 

SBI: Jon Batiste will be singing the National Anthem. Your thoughts?

BC: Batiste? As in the dry shampoo?

SBI: Uhhhh..no. As in the multi Grammy award winning singer/songwriter .

BC: And he allows the dry shampoo folks to use his name?

SBI: I don't know why I bother to discuss with you any musical acts whose success occurred after 1990.

With that in mind, do you even know who Kendrick Lamar is? He'll be the headliner at halftime. 

BC: He may have finished runner up in NFL MVP, but he still figured out how to be part of the Super Bowl, eh? 

SBI: Moving on. 

President Donald Trump will be attending the Super Bowl, making him the first sitting POTUS to do so. Does that do anything for ya?

BC: Nah. Although it'll be kinda awkward if he and Tay Tay cross paths at the concession stand. 

SBI: Speaking of Taylor, she is part of one of the more ridiculous prop bets in that the Over/Under of the number of times she's shown live throughout the game is 5.5. 

Can you think of a weirder bet? 

BC: Probably the over/under on the number of food crumbs that can be spotted in Chiefs coach Andy Reid's mustache. Good luck to whomever has to quantify that. 

SBI: What's on the menu for the big game?

BC: Hors d'oeuvres, shmor derves. We're keepin' it simple with sloppy joes, ubiquitous meatballs and various soft drinks. Oh, and prolly some cupcakes with each of the team's colors (before RFK, Jr. has a chance to ban the food dyes of course). 

SBI: And finally, the Chiefs are a 1-point favorite to become the first three-peat champion in the Super Bowl era. Who ya got? 

BC: As I said two weeks ago, my standard of never going against Belichick and Brady during the Patriots dynasty of the 2010s was a philosophy I've since assigned to the Chiefs tandem of coach Andy Reid and QB Patrick Mahomes. And if you recall the 2016 thru 2018 seasons, the Pats had an opportunity to go back to back to back were it not for......the Philadelphia Eagles, who knocked them off in the middle of that run. 

I say RB Saquon Barkley will put forth another epic performance for Philly, in addition to the Eagles' top ranked defense coming up big against Mahomes & Co. 

I'm going 27-24, Eagles. 

Enjoy the game!

My 2024 postseason record:

Against the spread: 6-6

Straight up: 7-5

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