Monday, October 10, 2005

Open letter to Red Sox fans.

Dear Red Sox fans,

Let me first express my condolences for your loss. I know it's been painful over the last 48 hours after being unceremoniously dumped from the playoffs by the Chicago White Sox and thus dethroned as baseball's world champs.

But hey, there's always next year (Remember how you said that for 86 years in a row?). Besides, you finally received what you have been asking for all these years:


When the Arizona Diamondbacks won the World Series in 2001, the prevailing cry amongst Red Sox Nation was "We've waited 83 years while Arizona has been around only four seasons. All we're asking for is JUST ONE World Series title."

How about the 2003 Florida Marlins? Again, you all whined. "They've won TWO World Series in eleven years of existence. We've gone 85 years without winning. All we want is JUST ONE."

Well, you got JUST ONE last season. What else do you want?

While you effectively exorcised "The Curse of the Bambino" in 2004, I believe you are now under the grips of a new, and possibly longer lasting, torment.


I believe it began within a matter of days after you clinched the 2004 World Series. You couldn't leave well enough alone, but you meant well when the following sentiments were uttered by you euphoric fans:

"Bill Buckner, we forgive you!"

That's one problem that plagues you Red Sox faithful: Your woeful lack of perspective. Buckner didn't want your forgiveness. He didn't NEED your forgiveness. He didn't commit a crime. He made an error in a baseball game in 1986 which didn't allow your club to clinch it's first World Series in (at the time) 68 years. But I need not remind you of your history. However, I would just like to prepare you for your future. "The Curse of Buckner" will know no mercy. All you did to the Bambino was trade him away to the hated New York Yankees where he had a legendary career. Yet his curse endured EIGHTY SIX YEARS.

Can you fathom what misery "The Curse of Buckner" will bring after 18 years of burning "Billy Buck" in effigy? You received your first glance of "Buckner" in the fifth inning of Game 2 against the White Sox. With your club leading 4-2, Chicago's Juan Uribe hits an inning ending, double play grounder toward second baseman Tony Graffanino when..... well, let's not re-live the horror.

I have a feeling you'll soon long to watch native son Ben Affleck in "Gigli" than have to endure "Buckner".

Oh, well. In the motif of Humphrey Bogart's famous reference to Paris in "Casablanca", you'll always have '04!

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