It's heeeeeere!!! My annual Super Bowl prognostication with the help of my pal, the Super Bowl Inquisitor. Never has an annual appearance been met with so much anticipation ---- well, at least this side of Punxsutawney, PA.
Without further ado, let's get to it.
SBI: This is the most decorated Super Bowl in history with the Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers having won a combined nine Vince Lombardi trophies. Has there ever been a more epic pairing in any other venue?
BC: The only thing comparable would be acting titans Robert DeNiro and Al Pacino starring in a movie together. Let's just hope this game is more like Godfather: Part II as opposed to Righteous Kill.
SBI: What would you consider the ideal Super Bowl commercial?
BC: If the Steelers win, I would like to see a reenactment of a certain scene from Good Will Hunting. The character Will Hunting (played by Ben Roethlisberger) sees the long-haired douche bag (played by Clay Matthews) he challenged to a fight earlier, now sitting in a coffee shop. Will knocks on the window near where the long-haired douche is sitting and says “Do you like apples?” LHD responds “Uhhh, yeah.” Will then proceeds to slap a picture of the Lombardi trophy against the glass and says “Well we got seven of these now. How do ya like them apples?”
SBI: Obviously you have an affinity for movies. So if this Super Bowl were a film, what would you call it?
BC: A game starring Troy Polamalu and Clay Matthews? What else but The Mane Event.
SBI: I know you're not a big fan of halftime entertainment but I'm obligated to ask your thoughts regarding this year's musical act.
BC: Believe it or not, I am somewhat fascinated by the musical selection, given that British royalty has supplied most of the talent. Who knew that the Duchess of York and Prince Charles' eldest son formed a musical group?
SBI: You lost me there.
BC: Fergie? William? Those are two members of the group, right?
SBI: Ahem. Ahhh, that's STACY Ferguson, not Sarah. And it's not “William”, it's will.i.am. They're part of a band called “The Black Eyed Peas.”
BC: So you're saying Hervé Villechaize is not a member of the band either?
SBI: First off, he's dead. Secondly, the band member you're thinking of is TABOO. You know what? Let's move on.
What kind of fine dining will you be partaking in?
BC: Given that Pennsylvania and Wisconsin will be represented, I will attempt a new concoction: A Hershey's chocolate bar covered with melted cheese. Oh, and Diet Coke of course.
SBI: Time for the lightning round.
After Sunday, 45 Super Bowls will have been played. Two franchises will share the record for most ever appearances with eight. They are the Dallas Cowboys and……?
BC: Pittsburgh Steelers
SBI: Two franchises have won a Super Bowl with three different head coaches. They are the Dallas Cowboys and….?
BC: Pittsburgh Steelers
SBI: Which franchise holds the all-time mark for most Super Bowl victories with six?
BC: Pittsburgh Steelers
SBI: And the winner of Super Bowl XLV will be the….?
BC: Green Bay Packers
SBI: D'oh! I was hoping I could play one of those word games to get you to pick my Steelers.
BC: In the immortal words of Jabba the Hut: “Your mind powers will not work on me boy. ” I'm thinking the Pack covers the 2-1/2 point spread with a 28-24 win.
Postseason Record:
Straight Up: 5-5
Against the Spread: 5-5
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Let us hope!
ReplyDeleteOf course, you know that I hope I'm wrong....
ReplyDeleteDitto Picklesworth
ReplyDelete